WARNING********This may be considered TMI!
Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
The day begin all nice and innocent. She dressed. She had pulled out a few things that had not been worn in a while.
Yes she admits “ I am now what could be considered ‘pleasantly’ plump…or healthy looking as the old folks used to say.
Yes I like that term best.. I am healthy.”
Now we could also say she is curvaceous or got that Marilyn Monroe look going on...humm getting better.
Anyway on with this horrid tale!
Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
The day begin all nice and innocent. She dressed. She had pulled out a few things that had not been worn in a while.
Yes she admits “ I am now what could be considered ‘pleasantly’ plump…or healthy looking as the old folks used to say.
Yes I like that term best.. I am healthy.”
Now we could also say she is curvaceous or got that Marilyn Monroe look going on...humm getting better.
Anyway on with this horrid tale!
My urr I mean her ‘upper support’ garment was a bit more supportive when she managed to get it on!
(you would have thought at this time someone old enough to receive discounts on Tuesday’s and Thursdays at the grocery would have STOPPED when it was a bit of a struggle to get on)
Felt sort of good though. So off she went and did her daily routines.
All was well till late evening.
Darkness had fallen she just left the kitchen clean ready for the next day.
She went to take her restful evening bath.
That is when it struck!!!!!! Or should I say STUCK!!
The very supportive upper garment…sports bra from hell trapped me, I mean her, in its tight elastic arms!!!!!
She managed to get it up and around her arms, boobs and head but no further!!
Can you imagine the look and feeling of being trapped!!!
She is yelling running into walls Help ME GET IT OFF!!
Her DH runs in ..WHAT !!!?? WHAT IS IT!!!!??
He is looking all around the floor , walls, her legs!!!!
She says ,up here!!! WHERE IS IT!!! he yells WHAT???
Now STOP and read this again and tell me if you came into a small room and the gal is yelling GET IT OFF ME and you see her wrapped up in a sports bra from hell would you be looking for an insect, spider, lizard , rat, mouse, snake??? NO!!!
She managed to say this BRA!!! Please help me …help me I am trapped in it!!!!!
Can’t move my arms, can’t go up or down …. I think it is trying to KILL me!!!
He then looks at me, urr her, really LOOKS then proceeds too…… can hardly say it…laugh….yes laugh!!!
He seems to be having such a hard time helping between losing his breath and tears coming from his eyes!!
After a bit they do manage to set her free.!!!!
DH on the other hand, (as in damn hubby not dear by now) cannot seem to understand how that happened or why she keeps looking at him as if she is planning to make him into compost for the garden!
Be afraid my friends be verrrry afraid…when you open those dresser drawers and look into all that fluffy innocence ,pull out your supportive garments and they give you that I want to cling to your new curves eye…put them back into the bottom drawer or maybe even….the trash can!!!!!!!!
Can you just see that smirky smile...HA.. little does it realize what fate awaits ...the recycle bin!!!!!!!!!
She went to take her restful evening bath.
That is when it struck!!!!!! Or should I say STUCK!!
The very supportive upper garment…sports bra from hell trapped me, I mean her, in its tight elastic arms!!!!!
She managed to get it up and around her arms, boobs and head but no further!!
Can you imagine the look and feeling of being trapped!!!
She is yelling running into walls Help ME GET IT OFF!!
Her DH runs in ..WHAT !!!?? WHAT IS IT!!!!??
He is looking all around the floor , walls, her legs!!!!
She says ,up here!!! WHERE IS IT!!! he yells WHAT???
Now STOP and read this again and tell me if you came into a small room and the gal is yelling GET IT OFF ME and you see her wrapped up in a sports bra from hell would you be looking for an insect, spider, lizard , rat, mouse, snake??? NO!!!
She managed to say this BRA!!! Please help me …help me I am trapped in it!!!!!
Can’t move my arms, can’t go up or down …. I think it is trying to KILL me!!!
He then looks at me, urr her, really LOOKS then proceeds too…… can hardly say it…laugh….yes laugh!!!
He seems to be having such a hard time helping between losing his breath and tears coming from his eyes!!
After a bit they do manage to set her free.!!!!
DH on the other hand, (as in damn hubby not dear by now) cannot seem to understand how that happened or why she keeps looking at him as if she is planning to make him into compost for the garden!
Be afraid my friends be verrrry afraid…when you open those dresser drawers and look into all that fluffy innocence ,pull out your supportive garments and they give you that I want to cling to your new curves eye…put them back into the bottom drawer or maybe even….the trash can!!!!!!!!
Can you just see that smirky smile...HA.. little does it realize what fate awaits ...the recycle bin!!!!!!!!!
Oh, my friend, I am sorry to admit that I am laughing, too....quite hard, actually. This curvaceous, mature-figured woman is also having trouble with some "rashes" in certain areas (due to excess body fat) and I know THAT is TMI, also!!! OH...to be that skinny 98 lb. 20 year old again. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteLola, you made my day today, just picturing you trapped and your husband looking for a bug. LOL.
ReplyDeleteBonnie
That is completely hilarious! I am so sorry to laugh, but it was so funny how you explained it! I have had t-shirts get stuck like that...Not a fun situation!
ReplyDeleteThis post had tears running down my face, it was so funny. I'm really sorry to laugh at your predicament, but at least you came out alive! Now... burn the darn thing! Toss it right into the fire!
ReplyDeleteCheers,
Dionne
Oh Lola, what a vision of loveliness you must have been. Your experience is the very reason I advocate undergarments that open at the front. No doubt the item in question was designed by a man - designed to give them a good laugh when it malfunctions. Perhaps it's a conspiracy - we may never know. I like to describe my figure as Reubenesque after the models painted by the artisit Peter Paul Ruebens. Real women.
ReplyDeletePlease dispose of the offending garment thoughtfully.
Cheers...Ann :)
I'm sorry..but I'm laughing so hard at this picture. Thank you for the giggle..it's been a long day.
ReplyDeleteWell, I have to admit that your story had me laughing too. I can see my husband looking for the spider that bit me and then laughing his head off when he found out what it was. This was so funny!!!
ReplyDeleteOh, that's just too funny, Lola! I have the most vivid pictures in my head... sorry.
ReplyDeletep.s. my upper support garments (as you so eloquently named them) have hooks. wow. the hooks are very helpful when removing the garment and they have never tried to trick me. hmmm.
ohhhhmyyyyy, what a vision of loverlyness! I see arms flaying about like ET when the little girl sees him for the first time and she starts to scream like a bansheeande he goes into panic mode! remeber, sports bras were invented by a MAN, its a conspiracy I tell ya....a conspiracy! (mauh) Liz
ReplyDeleteHi there!!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry too, but I am laughing so hard I've gone through 2 tissues just to wipe the tears!!! :)
It sound just like the kind of mess I would get into... LOL!!
Thanks for the laugh. I'm going to link you up - hope you don't mind.
CathyJean
I have done that too! Those things are dangerous if try not your size or what you think is your size!
ReplyDeleteHysterical! I had to read it out loud to my DH....I will heed your warnings!
ReplyDeleteO Lola, thank you so much for sharing your story! I think if you write a book of your "adventures" you can retire happily on the revenue, as you bring joy to others.There is something about our "sisterhood" that ties us all together and what happens to one - happens to all.
ReplyDeleteWe love you, my dear. Keep up the good work! O, and thank you for sharing the recipe.
Linda from VA.
Sorry I too am laughing, I can just imagine it, though I have had a similar experience except mine was with a too tight (small T-shirt) luckily I had my daughter there to rescue me.
ReplyDelete